If it had just been her saying it, it would be easier to brush off. But a lot of people have been saying it. That it wasn't his fault, that it wasn't a case of hubris coming back to bite him, that this isn't just cause and effect that he should have accounted for.]
I was expecting people to think so.
I'm astonished no one's blamed me for the library yet. I was sure they would.
[He drags his hands over his face. People are weird. He doesn't understand them, he can't predict them, and he certainly can't keep them safe if he's going to tell them upsetting things.]
Let me ask you something. I really want to know.
Would you rather hear about something I've found, that I think is true but might be wrong, which may upset people enough that they lash out at the ship, or would you prefer that I didn't look for those things, or kept it to myself, and those bad reactions didn't happen?
You're the one who can't leave, not me. That means the potential danger to you is worse. Is it worth the risk? As an inmate.
But you can give me your opinion. You won't be the only one I ask. I know not everybody is going to agree. Some people won't think it's worth it. But I thought no one would want me to continue after this. After everything. I wasn't listening again -- I was thinking I already knew what was best, which is what keeps getting me into situations like this in the first place.
I want to listen to what you want. How do you want me to help you?
I want to make a difference in the lives of people caught on this ship. Help them, but in the ways they actually want to be helped, not the ways I think they'll want.
...I also want to get my family out of Gravity Falls, but that's much less interpersonally complicated and I can work on it at the same time.
A few people have asked me to keep looking. To keep trying, even if it fails. I can't promise that I'll ever get anything usable, or that it won't ever go wrong, but they know that, and they asked me anyway.
It sounded earlier like you didn't want me to give up either. And...do you want me to keep acting as your warden? Even though I have no idea how to do it?
Eh, it's kind of a gray area. I remember learning a lot of things, but I was created to know whatever I needed to know to move the story along.
Maybe that's why not knowing is so hard.
Still, there are plenty of more experienced wardens out there. I won't make you stay in a situation you don't want to be in. If you ever want me to go to the Admiral and ask him to unpair us, just say the word.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2020-03-12 04:33 pm (UTC)If it had just been her saying it, it would be easier to brush off. But a lot of people have been saying it. That it wasn't his fault, that it wasn't a case of hubris coming back to bite him, that this isn't just cause and effect that he should have accounted for.]
I was expecting people to think so.
I'm astonished no one's blamed me for the library yet. I was sure they would.
no subject
Date: 2020-03-12 04:34 pm (UTC)Of course they didn't!!! You didn't do anything to the library!!!
no subject
Date: 2020-03-12 04:48 pm (UTC)Let me ask you something. I really want to know.
Would you rather hear about something I've found, that I think is true but might be wrong, which may upset people enough that they lash out at the ship, or would you prefer that I didn't look for those things, or kept it to myself, and those bad reactions didn't happen?
You're the one who can't leave, not me. That means the potential danger to you is worse. Is it worth the risk? As an inmate.
no subject
Date: 2020-03-12 04:53 pm (UTC)[For a while there's no response. Then:]
I can't make that decision for you.
no subject
Date: 2020-03-12 05:06 pm (UTC)I want to listen to what you want. How do you want me to help you?
no subject
Date: 2020-03-12 05:14 pm (UTC)[...]
Why are you asking me? If I made good choices I wouldn't be an inmate. That's how this works, right?
no subject
Date: 2020-03-12 05:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-03-12 05:23 pm (UTC)Right.
So what do you want?
no subject
Date: 2020-03-12 05:29 pm (UTC)I want to make a difference in the lives of people caught on this ship. Help them, but in the ways they actually want to be helped, not the ways I think they'll want.
...I also want to get my family out of Gravity Falls, but that's much less interpersonally complicated and I can work on it at the same time.
no subject
Date: 2020-03-12 05:30 pm (UTC)So why not just ask people what they want and work on those things with them?
no subject
Date: 2020-03-12 05:51 pm (UTC)A few people have asked me to keep looking. To keep trying, even if it fails. I can't promise that I'll ever get anything usable, or that it won't ever go wrong, but they know that, and they asked me anyway.
It sounded earlier like you didn't want me to give up either. And...do you want me to keep acting as your warden? Even though I have no idea how to do it?
no subject
Date: 2020-03-12 05:53 pm (UTC)Don't be silly, Ford. You're a human being. You don't know how to do anything until you've had a real chance to do it.
no subject
Date: 2020-03-12 05:59 pm (UTC)Maybe that's why not knowing is so hard.
Still, there are plenty of more experienced wardens out there. I won't make you stay in a situation you don't want to be in. If you ever want me to go to the Admiral and ask him to unpair us, just say the word.
no subject
Date: 2020-03-12 06:03 pm (UTC)I don't think that's ever going to happen.
no subject
Date: 2020-03-12 06:05 pm (UTC)